Breath of Summer Garlic
by Yunyin
Summary: When a fan girl ends up in Lady Dementia's house while she's trying to take care of munchkinsized transformers, it can only mean trouble!Crossover into Lady Dementia's Summer Vacation series.


Breath of Summer Garlic  
  
By: Yunyin yunyin13@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story except Yunyin, who is miiiiiiine! Well… Actually, she's also me. Lady Dementia belongs to herself, obviously, and Beast Wars belongs to HASBRO. I am making no profit; unless you count delusions that I really can write are profits…  
  
  
  
Did you know that a piece of cookie thrown hard enough can knock someone out?  
  
Well, I didn't. It was an accident, really! I didn't MEAN to knock him unconscious, I had only wanted to hit him for being a crude teenager... Except I threw a little too hard… And now my parents are after me, trying to pick the cheap lock on my door. The thing could be undone in a second with a toothpick, so I didn't have very much time… Where could I hide? Under the bed? In the closet? I couldn't go out the window; I'd break a leg in the fall… There had to be SOME way outta here! Strangely enough, the word processor turned on.  
  
"What the frig..." I muttered, tripping over various boxes to the pathetic imitation of a computer. In neon green over black, a small, inviting smiley face appeared.  
  
That worried me. No word processor I ever hear of could process images... Words in the same eye wrenching green appeared below the face. DO YOU WANT HELP OUT OF HERE? It read. I had a sneaky suspension of what was going on here... Should I really trust a talking word processor? Of course not. But at that moment, the locking mechanisms of my door clicked. Shoot! No time to think. Besides, it's possible where ever I end up could be better than here, right? Hurriedly, I bent down to the keyboard and typed YES. The screen began to swirl in a sickening mix of black and neon green. It pulled me in, the instant the door burst open, leaving me a split second view of my family's shocked faces before I landed. In a pool of slime.  
  
"Bleargh…" I gargled, spitting out sludge.  
  
A sound to my left alerted me to sloshing footsteps coming my direction.  
  
A dead white figure cloaked in black snaked through the dim light. "Fresh prey..." he hissed, smiling. Uh oh…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
"Wazzzpinator haz demented ladyz pillz," buzzed the pred wasp, clutching the butter tub of painkillers she relied upon so much, along with about 10 bars of chocolate balanced on top. She took the stack from the wasp, and smiled sweetly, then growled at whoever flinched. Rampage, in tank mode, rumbled over to Lady Dementia, a tray full of cans of cherry Pepsi perched on top. Why, do you ask? They were trying to appease her anger, after they saw what happened to terrosaur when he shut the dryer door on her.  
  
The Land Before Time I isn't so bad, but after VII… Terrosaur's screams rose until Lusha, along with half the dogs in the neighborhood barked madly, and a helpful Rattrap kindly knocked him offline. Now, he sat in the corner muttering, and would only answer to the name Petri.  
  
"Ahh… Terrosaur, thou hast seen the wrath of Lady Dementia," she said, sipping cherry Pepsi and smiling. (Flinch)  
  
"Lady Dementia, you have a message from HASBRO," announced TIM.  
  
She growled momentarily, and stomped over to the computer/sewing room. TIM chuckled. "I'm sure you'll LOVE this Lady Dementia…"  
  
"What," she scowled. She was NOT in the mood for this..  
  
TIM's smile turned wicked as he displayed the latest message from HASBRO.  
  
Dear Lady Dementia,  
  
It has come to our attention that the beast warriors are becoming unruly, and the computer we sent has given us a suggestion to help solve this problem. HASBRO has decided to send someone to help supervise the Beast Warriors.  
  
"Oh no…" not someone ELSE to look after! Wait…Maybe… "It isn't Ivyna is it," she asked hopefully.  
  
Maybe then it wouldn't be so bad… The little face sprouted devil horns.  
  
"Oh no, that would be FAR too much fun for you."  
  
Darn.  
  
"Who is it then," she asked.  
  
The rest of the message popped up.  
  
The HASBRO computer sent an invitation to the suggested person, and sent up a transwarp portal at her place of residence. She will be arriving shortly.  
  
Best regards, HASBRO yadda yadda yadda.  
  
"TIM, who is it?" she demanded.  
  
"Remember that girl who drew you a picture of Overdose?" he/it said smugly.  
  
She thought for a moment. "Yun…something?"  
  
"Bingo."  
  
Just then a shrill scream echoed through the house, stilling humans and transformers alike.  
  
"It sounded like it came from the…TIM…You didn't…"  
  
TIM only laughed as she hurried to the down stairs door, armed with a bundle of cleaners. At the foot of the stairs stood a girl, panting, drenched in slime.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Falling in slime is bad. It's a far worse thing, however, when you fall in slime from eight feet in the air, and are being contemplated as dinner by a guy who thinks he's a vampire.  
  
Namely, LD's charming brother Paul. Damn TIM, dumping me in the brother zone!  
  
A smiling Paul sloshed toward me, not at all perturbed by the sludge that held me momentarily immobile. Yeesh, maybe this is why a lot of guys smell…  
  
HELLO! FOCUS HERE! IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE EATEN BY A LOONEY, YOU FRIGGIN IDIOT, said my mind. I turned my attention back to the situation, and did what any idiot girl like me would do in a situation like this. I screamed. REAAAAAAAAALLY loudly. "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
I know, this is an extremely annoying scream. Unfortunately, this didn't faze my attacker at all. (You'd get used to screams being a vampire I guess.)  
  
So I approached this from a different angle, and ran away as fast as I could, hindered by the gooey basement floor. Even without slime in my way, I wasn't a very fast runner.  
  
Funny thing is, when you're being chased, you forget how fast you really are, and pound dirt like there's no tomorrow. Or in my case, splash slime like there's no next week.  
  
It wasn't long before I tripped, Paul coming closer as my frantic mind tried to come up with some way out of this. Unfortunately, the only idea I had was…  
  
"Watch it! I ate Italian food," I cried, breathing to demonstrate the small amount of garlic breath. Paul grimaced, and waved his hand in front of his nose to stir away the scent.  
  
He loomed over me, like a gothic coat rack. A coat rack with vulnerabilities…  
  
I jerked my leg upward in the classic swift kick; silently thanking my gym teacher for making me do those leg lifts. Many a man has fallen to that blow, and vampire wanna-be was no different. I scooted on my butt to the basement stairs, taking two at a time.  
  
At the top I burst out into sudden light and slammed the door behind me, panting.  
  
When I began to feel less like a winded rhinoceros, I glanced up to see the miniaturized beast warriors, and a teenage girl roughly my age, whom I could only assume was…  
  
"Hey… Lady D, someone REALLY needs to clean that basement."  
  
End of part 1  
  
Okaaaaaaay, I can't write, I know, I'm really an artist. Send questions or comments as long as you can flame me with tact, I welcome HELPFUL criticism. If you have any tips or possibly compliments, PLEASE e-mail me, I'd really like to know if anyone actually reads this and thinks its ok.  
  
Ja matte!  
  
  
  
Part 2  
  
THE NEXT DAY…  
  
  
  
"Lady D…"  
  
"Demented Lady thinking of killing uzz."  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
"Where'd the piano go?"  
  
"Hehe…"  
  
"Oh, Depsy wepsy…" 


End file.
